Do we need God?

It would probably be better to begin this post by warning that my thoughts on the matter are not coherent and I write this blog only to get things out of my system as they are making me sleepless!

This thought or idea started a few months back as a mild curiosity for other religions as well as atheism and has become excruciating annoying now. I have always had some very fundamental assumptions, like we all have, and one of them was that there is “God”. This has somewhat changed now. To be clear, I am not an atheist nor I ever intend to be. I am a Hindu; whatever that means, and will probably continue to be one for the rest of my life. So, the changed assumption is that I now feel that it does not matter if there is a God or not, as long as I believe in one. Also, I now feel that believing in God makes life simpler and that’s why I need God in my life. Its a time tested method, history tells us that much. For eternity, we have had some higher power whatever the form, and attributed everything unexplained to it. Everything that is not in our controls, give it to the God and you feel lighter. But this has been challenged now, especially because of the recent developments in science.

Taking one example, Stephen Hawkins in one of the documentaries explains quite clearly why the popular notion that God created the Universe is false. If I correctly interpreted what he meant, then the gist is that since time did not exist before universe came into being, when did God exist to create it. Well of course I do not have a counter argument for this but I do have another question, why the hell did the universe begin? I am quite sure there will be some incomprehensible astrophysical explanation which is beyond me, but essentially what I am trying to say is there must be some intent behind all this, because without that life is meaningless and this is where God comes in for me. I literally don’t see a meaning to anything unless I know there is some purpose for its existence. Life cannot be a happy coincidence, its just too magnificent to be one! The more I read about various religions, the more I feel that this is the one common denomination between them all. All popular religions try to explain what purpose do we have and I believe until science really answers this, I need God in my life.

Religion or rather organized religion is an entirely different thing though. I do not believe in that anymore and that’s why I said earlier “I am a Hindu, whatever that means”. Sure, I celebrate Hindu festivals, go to temples, pray the traditional prayers and will continue to do that but does that make me Hindu? Firstly, there is a distinction between customs and religion which is somehow always blurred. Secondly, my interpretation of religion is almost entirely different than anyone else’s and so its just not possible for two people to have the same religion. I am currently reading about mental models and cognitive theory and I think it totally applies here. My mental modal of God is not yours and vice-versa. Moreover, you cannot get inside my head, so you cannot really claim to be of the same religion as me, whatever we write on forms. The various sects in all popular religions is the manifestation of the same phenomena, but for me its even more individualistic. Anyhow, I believe religion is causing more trouble that it should and so probably that’s why I want to keep God away from it. Its so weird that if you pause and think, it boils down to people killing each other because some like blue and the other’s red. Its further more ridiculous because we never had the chance to make our opinion about red or blue in the first place. Common truly, how many have actually read the religious texts, compared them with others and thought their’s to be better?

Having said all this, I also sometimes have counter arguments for not believing in God. I mean look at the human race, really, we are pathetic. Remember World War 1 and then 2? I mean life as a phenomena is great and it should have a purpose but if it has its completely eluded us so far. Even people who do claim to have that knowledge doesn’t seem to stop any stupidities from happening. If its all just dragging on then there is no greater purpose and thereby no need for God. So you see its kind of all messed up.

And on this note, I shall end the post. Its no better than saying Forty Two but then you were forewarned!!!! If anyone does read till this line, please excuse the typos, tenses etc..I am finally sleepy 😀

Simply absurd!

I have been watching some documentaries on war lately, the American Civil War, Vietnam War, of course the World War; and it has made me realize something ironic and rather absurd.

It’s so weird that we are closer to life when nearer to death! The documentaries that I have watched essentially had interviews or memoirs of war veterans and their families. The way these people talk about life feels so unreal yet so much in sync with the ultimate philosophy or at least the one I have heard. The one where you don’t care about the end results but do your duty. The one in which materialistic things stop to matter.

Not only the soldiers almost everyone who was a part of the war believed in a greater purpose. People lived simplistically, helped their neighbors, did things they would never do otherwise! All of them had the kind of strength we just cannot imagine at present. Naturally there are hardly any positives about wars and of course war was, is and perhaps will be one of the most wasteful human activity on all possible fronts, however it definitely let some people explore another side of themselves and made pity things actually pity. The sense of having a purpose be it destruction or liberation made them connect to their core in ways we cannot. It’s so sad that most of us can find such purpose only in adversity!

Bengaluru..miss you already!

It’s almost been four years since I came to Bangalore and its not an exaggeration when I say I am totally in love with the city. Although its partly because it was one of the best phase of my life that I spent here and also I made really good friends but I sincerely do love the city as well. I will miss everything starting from food and whether to BMTC buses..but more specifically the flowers and the rangolis. They really are beautiful….

Unfortunately, Bangalore is portrayed wrongly outside or at least where I come from. Its almost felt that it is a city full of youngsters drinking and “pubbing” all the time, parties and concerts, you get the picture..really its so not like that….I recall we once did an assignment on Bangalore culture during college and at last concluded it as a city which has a perfect amalgamation of new and the old. The street I live in is a perfect example of the same…it is surrounded by all possible eating joints and pubs and people do go there all the time but at the same time you walk in the morning and all houses and literally all will have a beautiful rangoli drawn in front with a varanda full of flowers….the city therefore gives you a choice to live the way you want…you can enjoy the pub and a decent homely life as well…and fyi all pubs in fact everything normally accessible shuts down at 11 p.m. so its not all how it looks on some MTV show.

To summarize, the people here are generally friendly and warm (except the autowalas ;)) and the city is safe at most time. Public transport is superb (by that i mean BMTC rocks!) and let us hope the roads will be great some day! And as for being expensive, don’t come here if the only entertainment source you have is watching cinema in theaters! I don’t think any other big city can compete with Bangalore in being green and don’t worry the pani-puri isn’t bad either. So in short it is a lovely place to stay and I am so glad that I got posted in Bangalore. The only regret for the last 4 years, “couldn’t learn Kannada” but there is always a next time! So goodbye for now…Enjoymadi!

– Love is overrated –

I was just thinking the other day, in all the great love stories one of the protagonist, usually suffers some tragedy or rather dies in the end. This kept me wondering for a long time what is it about death that strongly invokes the feeling of love? When I thought more, I realized it isn’t love at all that creates this strong emotion and makes us empathize but its actually pity. If someone dies in the age of 70, no one really cares for the person’s spouse, all the crying and rubbish is there but no one feels that bad however if someone is dead at 40 then people really feel the tragedy of the thing. Ideally love should increase proportionally with time and be felt more strongly when loosing someone after 40 years of association than with 20. In fact there should be love stories around children and parents, they love us more and ideally we should love them back more if the rule of association applies. There are some stories which portray this relationship as well, but have you ever wondered they also usually involve a parent leaving or dying at an early age? I mean if someone’s mother died at 4 he wont even remember her when he grows up but then people cry when they show the mother dead at 4. The truth is no one cares enough when she dies when the child is 40 unfortunately not even the children.So in conclusion what I have realized is that love is directly proportional to your dependency on that person. At 4 you need your mother, at 40 your spouse and so you “love” people solely because you need them. This need could be emotional, all that argument is fine but its a need, there is nothing else to it. You need that person in life because of all the practical reasons not because of some stupid feeling, that stupid feeling is a result of all the practical reasons. I wonder if everyone knows this in their heart. The only people I can’t fit into this theory are the one who commit suicide and all because they claim to be in love, but then there are always psychopaths. May be its 2 am effect and I need sleep but I sincerely feel and have felt from a long time now that love is exponentially overrated.

The misery..

It was a good…until now..it’s really weird to explain sometimes why a perfectly good day can be depressing at the end. It happens to me many time, I am not sure if it happens to others also…I woke up fresh, did quite an important work that was pending, chatted for a long time with my fiance…in short had a perfect sort of morning I could hope for and then suddenly the evening just lost its charm. I called a few friends, felt really great for a while and then again the same uneasiness. I even had good food! So in short I have no sane reason to fill miserable yet I do, I suppose it is what I call the “sunday” effect. I enjoy working, moreover I enjoy my work yet there is something obnoxious about Sunday night, it just makes you feel you have no freedom and you cannot do anything about it. There is something about feeling lazy too; you enjoy it to a point beyond which you neither want to stop being lazy nor like the laziness and then you are stuck. And at these too unrelated thought I want to stop posting cause I know it is a pointless post going nowhere and making me more miserable when it aught to have the opposite effect!

–Exam Season–

I bet everyone have had this dream once in their life when they find themselves writing a test which they no longer need to give….I had one such recently..I was back to 12th standard and was giving Hindi test. Apparently there was a translation of a poem which I had never heard off and I had to translate it (it was in a Hindi dialect). The worst bit was that the dream continued and I perfectly recall that I had maths next and had not studied even a bit..by this time I woke up..Hindi is one thing, Maths quite another..

I have had these dreams many times but I suppose this time it happened because there is something about this weather. Its been quite a while since I took exams in March  (don’t want to put it years now ;)) but the climate, the wind during this month simply reminds me of exams and then the awaited holiday. Although now all I hear is financial year ending..it just sucks..it was so awesome that each year we had those wonderful 3 months holidays and before that anticipation of those 3 months (we never had any classes during summer). 

Growing up isn’t easy, I knew it, but the dream reminded me once again how I miss my school and that time, even the “Exam season”

~ Happy Diwali ~

Its been too long since I posted something and so I have many topics which I can write about but since its Diwali today, well this one is about Diwali….

So Diwali…ate good food, made Rangoli and had fun, the usual I guess; although first time with my in laws. However that’s another story 😉

For me the difference in this Diwali and the many (unfortunately many :s) others which have followed before, was that this time I truly participated in the celebrations despite being alone for most of the day! I suppose this being alone made all the difference…I have realized for the first time the importance of any festival and the celebration which follows. I have always hated festivals mostly because its meeting more people and smiling fake smiles, always loved the food but wanted it without the fuss. But since I was alone this year and no one around me to create the enthusiasm, I realized I missed it. Though never really participating in things I do enjoy the zeal which any Indian festival seems to be surrounded with. Its certainly not about religion, I am unsure if its culture either, why we celebrate these countless festivals is because we want a way out of the monotony and yes it gets monotonous, really!

Festivals are a good way for everyone to enjoy. They do have their problems but I suppose they bring color to life from time to time. Not everyone can find reasons to celebrate all through the year. Imagine a year when you don’t get married, promoted, you don’t pass-out or get awarded and you also don’t win a lottery; you therefore have no reason to celebrate except your birthday and trust me birthday’s are not fun after a certain age (:S :S :S)

I suppose that’s when Diwali seems important. That’s why festivals has been celebrated from centuries, don’t know if we really recall the coming back of Lord Ram anymore!!!

So hope everyone had a great today!

A small picture :)

Everyday I think about writing something and then get too lazy to do so…I hope I am not alone in this but everyday I observe something which needs to be thought about and sometimes even talked about….Anyways so this particular incident which I am about to describe happened in a bus on my way to college. It was very crowded and everyone was desperate for a seat including me, fortunately I got one and was genuinely relieved although I didn’t acknowledge it visibly at all. Later a few other people boarded the bus, these people seemed to be from the so called BOP section of society, a little uneducated perhaps, they were smiling ear to ear on getting the same seat…i knew how it felt like having undergone the same feeling a few minutes back but somehow I failed to show it or even enjoy it. I don’t know from where and how I have developed these false habit of holding back my emotions which at that moment I felt to be completely useless. I don’t know if my education or the pretentiousness of sophistication has done it. I mean these small things of daily life if acknowledged properly are immense source of happiness; aren’t they not? I am sure most people feel delighted to find a 100 rupee note in an old jeans or when someone drops out of the payment queue in the grocery shop, but just we are so busy looking for the “big” things in life that these “small” things absolutely fail to make the day livelier. I always wonder when I look at kids playing with utensils, I suppose for quite long they enjoy making noise with those more than anything else in the world. Aren’t those happy times? In fact I still recall when I got the “second in class batch” in some unit test once during my school days, I don’t remember the test or the class, but I was extremely happy that time or so I remember. It was so very important to me. I was so happy for something that doesn’t matter at all in the big picture and it usually is like this; things which don’t really matter in the long run can keep you happy or going all through the day, except that some of us develop this nasty habit of ignoring them completely. I understand there is a bigger picture but then these trailers aren’t bad, are they? Well, I have decided to enjoy them, I hope I am able to…

Love you, aai :)

I wanted to write this from a long time now; ever since my parents visited me last November. I think a relationship blogs our perspective and raises expectation so much that we sometimes fail to see the person hidden behind the relation. We have an idea of a mother, a father, a brother, a husband, a sister and so on; and we either idealize them for what they do or criticize them for what they don’t, failing mostly to appreciate their qualities and ignore their drawbacks at the same time. At least I felt the lost appreciation bit very strongly. Though I am writing this today because it is my mother’s birthday today and I was desperately trying to find a good greeting card and didn’t get the right one so instead decided to write something about her today, something good 🙂

My mother is an excellent mother as most or rather all mothers are almost all of the time. I don’t think she is a perfect person as most cards said as no person in the world probably is “perfect”. She might have her share of drawbacks, issues, problems and skills which make her as imperfect as anybody else. Once I was discussing with my friends and one of them raised an excellent point saying that it’s even new for mothers to have 25 year old daughters, they might be old but it’s a new experience for them as well. Just that their age has taught them better to cope with it then ours.

So coming back to the appreciation bit…………………… My mother is a superbly enthusiastic lady; I probably have noticed it most because I am totally unlike her. We went to this place called “Ramoji film city” in Hyderabad and seriously I should have recorded her there. She had all the sort of pains in walking etc. but the way she wanted to see each and everything available was really worth learning. Some may call it being overly materialistic, I myself don’t see the fun in doing it but if she is passionate about movies, travelling, she proved it there. Not only during sightseeing, for the entire trip she never lost her zeal. I don’t say she doesn’t complain but that doesn’t make her lose interest in experiencing new stuff at all. I think for the first time in her life at my place, she cooked on a single burner, using some five odd utensils and though she probably would not like to relive it but she definitely didn’t lose her interest in cooking and made everything possible and impossible with that one burner and 5 utensils. I hardly find that in ladies her age. Most of them adopt a routine which is boring, not my Aai. She is as interested in having fun as she was 20 years back. I don’t say it doesn’t have side effects on health etc. but if I even have 10% of the enthusiasm that she has for things I would make the crowd around me 50 times happier.

I realized it more so when she invited all my friends home at Bangalore. I did help her (my father helps her too, I would write a post about him sometime, I think it would be shorter, we fight less) but seriously at her age I wouldn’t dare organize a feast like that especially with that kind of wholeheartedness. I am a late born; she practically started raising me after my brother had graduated, so it was repeating the entire process all over again. Honestly and this is definitely not out of love but I never once felt the age gap. I never felt at absolutely any point that I am devoid of attention, devotion and care in any respect, not once. All my birthdays were celebrated with great fervor; she was as open to my friends as she was to my brother’s friends. I never felt the generation gap in the least. In fact I feel I am more close to my mother, more bonded and more of a friend that most people I know. She changed so much for me. She is ‘that’ fantastic in this department.

There definitely are a lot of other things I love about her but more for next time perhaps. Just to add one last thing, I would one day learn to whistle the way she does (sadly not much these days), it simply is awesome!!!!

Anyways all I wanted to say was that I love my mother and now after I have started observing her as a person I have started liking her more. Although this doesn’t change the fact that we will keep fighting and that we both won’t have our share of complains. (I sometimes feel she likes fighting with me, breaks the monotony).

Love you Aai, a lot!!!!

Hope she has a great birthday! Wish I could be with her…..next year I hope….……….:)

Sports???

I have never understood any sport. I don’t like to play and so I hardly like to watch. I just was reminded about this recently because of the “cricket fever” going on in the country. I admire that we play well. I love it when India wins, I even celebrate it along with other people. Its superb how some people are dedicated through out their life, interesting to observe their passion about the game. But what I don’t understand is the fact that how can you leave your important activities for something which is going to end in a day? Does a loose or a win effect a common man’s life in anyway? Well, that is to say if he is not betting. Its after all a game and someone will win, why should you be so hooked on to it?

Mostly I leave the matter thinking that I don’t understand sports in general and so cannot relate to it. But still I always find myself clueless that how can your important daily activities be affected by a bunch of people whose sole activity in life is playing. I mean that’s what they do, they are making money out of it, they have most dedicatedly made a position in life and you leave all your dedication for watching them. Wow really!

We are nobody, they are already somebody and yet we get glued to our seats, forgetting everything….cant we ever learn something else from players, something which would be a little useful to us. Advertisers make money, players make money, authorities make money and what do we get? Entertainment that too not at our convenience. Match might come late at night, might affect studies but who cares, its entertaining right?

All this may come as rubbish and I know I will be highly criticized by the fans of the sports but this is what I feel. If you want to really learn anything from Sachin, learn his dedication, determination to excel in what he does don’t just see him play!!! I don’t mind a watching a game when you have nothing else to do but watching it at the expense of responsibilities is beyond me! However hard I am criticized I will still hold this opinion!